My challenge is this... I love writing. But somehow, blogging... I fall short many, many times. Now don't get me wrong, I keep trying it just because I think it's nice to have a place where you can come and write random things.

But maybe that's the problem... most blogs are about SOMETHING. Mine seems to just be about life in general. My life even. And who really wants to read about that?

Also... I never really think anyone is looking. Yesterday for instance, I know there were 12 pageviews to my blog. And I'm thinking... from WHO?? Why?? Which is the totally wrong response... right?Especially considering that 12 pageviews are nothing. But there you have it.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have people coming on here, reading stuff, being hopefully inspired by something I wrote... But how do you streamline that information?

Right now, I'm just blabbing, writing whatever comes to me. Freewriting. I usually get to the point even when I don't think I have one. And here I think is something worth saying today... contrary to what we've been taught, sometimes the best things in life are the ones that just come to us... when we're not looking. When we're going about our day, singing along, just being exactly who we are. Without the pressures of what we should be 'doing', who we should be 'being'... When we're just ourselves... Enjoying the ride. I think... the best things come to us then.

So maybe my blogs are a little like that. Random. Free. Nothing special or direct or pointed. No defined results necessary. Just floating along... taking the ride with life to see what it has in store.

Imagine if everyday was an adventure. And you knew fabulous things would happen. You just didn't know what or how. I know there is something to be said for stability... but stability doesn't have to be predictability. Stability can be fun, spontaneous. Stability can be found in our adventure. That place where we know, no matter what waits around that fabulous corner... it will be working out for me. All of it. It's all fabulous... Having that firm knowledge that takes away the fear of the unknown... helps us tackle the unknown with gusto and a pep in our step. And when we do that... the unknown opens up like magic before us.

Told you I could be random... Here was another random entry. So... Have a super random day!!

xoxo

M.

Loving What You Do

Someone once said, you know you love what you do when you look forward to Monday morning....

So now, after like a three week vacation, Christmas is over... New Year's gone... and my birthday is also behind me... Tomorrow is back to work. I'm actually excited about it.

Being a writer, there are many times that I'd just LOOVVE to be able to work solely on my own creations, novels, mainly. And maybe some Film scripts. Right now, I work as a Head Writer for a show in Kenya. It's different because you can't just go off and do what you want. There are rules, regulations, deadlines, other folks' opinions to deal with.. etc. etc. And sometimes, there is a tendency to think, I just want to go with my own flow... sail to Seychelles, hire a bungalow, write to my heart's desire.

Sure, that sounds like a treat, a dream, fantasy. But with writing your own stuff, comes high stakes and high responsibility. For instance, remaining relevant, being noticed, selling... There is no definite guarantee. The safety net is only as safe as your faith and inner peace. It's exhilarating, but it doesn't come free.

Nothing does. Working a contracted job is exhilarating too, in its own right. Different challenges. Different cons. And sure, even this safety net is not 100% safe... I'm talking knowing what your monthly income will be. But there is something to be said for a road that has already been mapped out. I think it's underrated. Right now, after the highs and fast paced buzz of having a novel come out and the excitement and concern about the challenge ahead... going to a structured work schedule tomorrow, will be a welcome break.

Strange. But that is how I know I love what I do. I am blessed. In my employment and in my dream and fantasy world. Both of which, more and more are beginning to meet.

As I start this year... what I am filled with... is appreciation. How about you?

xoxo
m.

Going with the Flow

If I was to make one single resolution this year, it would be to go with the flow. I don't mean this in an irresponsible way... but then again, who determines what's considered 'responsible'.

I mean, we're brought up in boxes, be these houses or values or structures or schools or religion or family ... We're brought up in boxes and for the most part of our lives, we live within the confines of these boxes. Every once in a while we test the boundaries... but I've been discovering that these boundaries, past a certain put, snap back into the boxes we're trying to move away from.

I'm not being pessimistic or defeatist... I'm the total opposite of that. But I'm acknowledging, that unless I acknowledge what my own boxes are, then I will repeat my actions over and over again while trying to get different results. Some of these actions are good, positive ones, sure. But many others only serve to limit me.

One of my biggest limitations has been the 'and then what' factor. That thing that makes you think twenty 'what if' steps ahead before you take the leap. It can save your life, yes, but it can also keep you smack in the middle of your box forever. And there is more outside that box, so much more.

I don't think boxes were ever met to contain us. We were not meant to live within them. Maybe they were made so that when we were ready, we could simply pack them up, put them in a little rucksack and go happily on our journey.

Because our boxes are our safety. And every once in a while, on life's adventures, no matter how incredible, we need a little bit of that safety blanket, to give us strength and courage and sometimes direction on which way next.

So this year, I'm not living in my box... I'm taking it with me on all the incredible adventures and open doors that I will experience. No more rubber band effects.

What are your boxes?

Forbidden Love

One of the themes of 'SoulFire' is forbidden love. Or star-crossed love. Love that in another setting might be considered 'betrayal', 'wrong', 'unfaithful'...

I've been wondering lately, what instruments and measures and standards are used to determine what a relationship can or cannot be. Should or should not be. What sets the standard and why do we fall in? In a totally different culture, with totally different rules and expectations, do we remain the same? Or is our outlook on relationships (or anything really) only as good and as strong as the structures we've been built on?

New Best Friend

So now that I technically have a deal waiting in the wings... I need to find someone to finalize that deal for me. i.e a Literary Agent. I need someone who speaks 'book'. Because I'm just a writer and God knows, if we could live off inspiration alone, we'd give up our works for free.

I just need SOMEONE to read my creations! That's how we think. That's why agents were born. So that the days of the 'starving artist' become less and less. Those artists didn't starve because no one appreciated them in their time. I think they starved because they were so bent on getting their work out there, that they took whatever offer was presented to them.

'I'll display your painting for the masses to see and be caught up in the magical realism of what you're trying to create.'
'Excellent. What will you pay me?'
'Pay you? But aren't you just satisfied for them to know your name? Sing your praises as you heal their sore souls with your gift?'
Artist thinks for a second (Milli-second). 'You're right. In fact, it would be wrong to charge people for something that I myself was given for free. God might take the gift away.'

You catch the drift. It's how we think. Art is one of those professions that is so difficult to quantify. Which is beautiful in itself... but has also caused so many people to give up, go out there to find 'real jobs'. Especially if you're from a developing country.

But things are changing. Because everyone wants to hear their story told. And African writers are the tools who are right now, telling African stories. It's still got a ways to go... but at least these days, if you say you're a writer, no one looks at you like you're the next homeless person waiting to happen.

And also... agents were born. And these agents are looking for voices from all over the world. New voices, they say, talking about new interesting, original places.

Africa is calling. And I'm at the other end of that phone.

Off I go then... to find my Rainmaker.

m.

Praying for Rain

One of my all time favourite phrases is from the poem by Jonathan Kariara 'Grass will Grow'. He basically says, no matter what happens... we can survive it. He prays to God to 'send a little rain... for grass will grow.'  We can survive anything, he surmises ... except the death of our mind.

I'm a writer... mainly. Writing is my first love. And as all writers know... sometimes, it can be a thank less job. Depending on the industry you're in of course. And when it's not... it can be an uphill task getting your work out there and then, praying against all hope, that something will come out of it.

So... recently... my first novel (that I'm showing to the public) got picked up by a publisher. Yaayy!! But I'm told, from all the countless sites I've trolled through, it's just the beginning of the journey. For starters, publishing is a marathon... not a sprint.

After my celebration, even with slight reservation because who knows whether or not the book will take, I'm settling in for another long haul. It can be depressing to a writer. Especially when doubts start seeping in. Am I on the right track? Did I pick the right publisher? Have I made the right choice? Should I just be thrilled, no matter what the offer is, that someone... ANYONE... thought my work has merit?

All these things rushing through my mind. As I try to tell myself to calm down. Everything is perfect. Everything is alright. All I need to do is breathe and be thankful for how far I've come. And breathe. And be thankful.

And then I think of Kariara's line... 'Send a little rain... for Grass will grow.'

No matter how dismal the situation is or how long you've been searching or how many 'not the right book for our company' etc etc... the treasure isn't in the words on paper. Those can be redone... reworked... perfected. One no means just that, one no. The treasure is you. The writer. Your mind. Your spirit. Your gift. And most of all... your resilience.

I've decided... to start writing this journey now. Because I have a feeling... next year same time... things will have changed immensely in my life. And even if I can think back and write about them, they won't be true of my experience at that very moment.

So this blog... Rain God... is about writing. Finding. Discovering. Going on that journey. The 'How Did They Make It' journey. In real time.

We all have our stories... I hope we share them, often.